Unfortunately, a student was murdered by her ex-boyfriend last weekend. I was talking to two co-workers about that incident and about the time I intervened when I saw a girl on campus being mistreated. Then the conversation got really weird.
First, the female colleague started saying that the situation (the murder) was probably partly the fault of the girl. She went on to say she thinks girls are often lying when they accuse men of rape, and that they are just having kinky sex and calling the police because they regret it later.
Then, the male colleague started talking about how students drink too much and how he partly blames girls for getting into these situations because they drink so much. I commented that in the murder case, there was no indication that either person had been drinking, and that in the situation I got involved in, nobody was drunk either. He started arguing with me. I was like, “Look, neither of the people were drunk. They guy was just roughing up his girlfriend.” Then he was like, “Well but you know, the students drink a lot.” I said, “Yes, but the WEREN’T drunk. I talked to the girl for like five minutes. I know. Besides, it was like a Wednesday at 8:00.” Then argued more, saying that even though it is Wednesday a lot of students still drink, so the girl must have been drinking. I was like, “No, she wasn’t. I said I talked to her for like five minutes. I would have noticed if she were drunk. She wasn’t.” Then he continued going back to this “Oh, they are both at fault because they were both drinking” thing. It was really important to this guy to believe they were drinking and blame it on that, for some reason, and for some reason he couldn’t believe my account of what happened, even though he wasn’t there and I told him three times what had happened.
I’m really very shocked at both of them.