MF in Michigan — am I crazy?
It’s 99.99999999% sure that I’m going to Michigan State University in the fall to get an MA in Teaching English as a Second Language.
I’m really scared, though. Living in China has become a big part of my identity. What’ll it be like to lose that, at least temporarily? Also, my life is really comfortable here, I have lots of freinds, I get respect from people around me (mostly), etc. But the thing is, I’ve been here for eight years. I just really need a new challenge. I need something more in my life, which, despite all the good things I have going, can feel kind of flat. I’ve gone as far in my present job as I can right now, too. I’d feel sort of stagnant if I stayed here, and I think I’d start getting really frustrated.
As for why I chose Michigan, at first I looked for programs that seemed appealing to me, especially those that seemed more practical than theoretical. Then I tried to figure out the school’s reputation, and whether I could get some form of assistantship or other financial aid. In the end, I applied to Indiana, Michigan State, U. of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, and Arizona State U. So far, I’ve heard back, and been accepted by every school but IU. Illinois and Michigan both offered me assistantships, so I tried to decide between them. Teya lived near MSU and knew people who went there, and told me her friends were happy with the program and were glad they’d gone there. The people from the program also seemed really personable and helpful when I had problems with my GRE scores and stuff. Meanwhile, I have another friend at U. of Illinois right now who doesn’t seem to be enjoying himself very much. He’s found some of the teachers not very approachable, and it seems like for him, the program is something for him to get through so he can get the degree paper. He’s a pretty easygoing guy (or he was when I knew him better), so his having criticisms carries a lot of weight with me. I’m a worrywort, and will probably want to ask my professors a lot of questions about writing papers and stuff, so it is important to me that they be welcoming and helpful. Plus, comparing the stipends (not that that is the most important thing), the Michigan one was higher, and I think pretty generous. So, in the end, I’ve decided to go with Michigan.
Some people ask me, “Why are you studying teaching English? You speak Chinese well, so why don’t you major in that, or get some sort of Chinese studies (like Chinese culture or politics) degree?” Well, the answer is that I really do like teaching English. If I focused completely on Chinese, I don’t know what I would do with it. I don’t want to work in business. I also don’t know about going into academia, and by that I mean PhD level academia with lots of research. From what I saw at Indiana, I don’t know if I’m mean enough for that. It seems like “hard” academia can be a pretty nasty field. With Chinese studies, I don’t know … would I work in politics? But then, I’d have to work for a politician whose views I’d agree with, or it would be a big problem for me. I mean, I generally support Obama, but I don’t think he knows what he’s talking about when it comes to China. Or I could work for a think tank … but I don’t know how you would get that kind of job.
But anyway, it seems that I’ll be studying teaching English, at least for a while, and we’ll see where things go after that. I never thought I would end up teaching English in China, so maybe I’ll end up doing something unexpected again.
April 12th, 2008 at 3:24 am
When you get there, look up Dr. Sheng-mei Ma in the English department. I haven’t talked to him in many years, but I’m sure he’s still a great guy. I knew him as a grad student at IU. He was a Taiwanese poet and bohemian from a wealthy Hunanese family. I was a working class punk rocker. We were fascinated by one another, and had a great time becoming friends. I’m sure he’d love to talk to a Chinese speaker, just in from Shanghai. Congratulations on your acceptance.
April 12th, 2008 at 6:45 pm
I just want to point out, CLEARLY, that Michigan State University and MICHIGAN are not the same school. And it is confusing to me. MICHIGAN is the blue and yellow school who likes wolverines; Michigan State is the school that is green and white and has Spartans.
You are going to the better of the two. (Well, that is what the Spartan fans will say anyhow).
April 14th, 2008 at 1:50 am
Oh, here I meant Michigan as a destination. You know, I’ll be IN Michigan, like I’m in China now.
Thanks for the congratulations!
June 24th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Now that I’m ABD with two kids, I can say that I’m definitely not cut out for academia. Or, at least, not the kind that involves tenure. If not meanness, it does seem to require a certain kind of single-mindedness that I simply don’t have anymore, if I ever had it in the first place.
And, seriously, if you like teaching English, then that’s the field to go into. God knows there are way too many people teaching English who really hate doing it! Congratulations, and I hope maybe I’ll see you sometime if you’re ever out Virginia way (we live in VA now, near my family, while I supposedly work on my dissertation).
As for the coming back to the US thing…after something like five returns to the US, I’ve found that it’s usually necessary for my sanity at the time, and completely reversible if the States starts feeling claustrophobic. It means accepting a certain kind of nomadness in your life, but if you’re at one with that then you can pretty much go anywhere.