Almost there, feeling pooped out with the process.
I’m still working away on my grad school applications. I’ve got everything I need in except one thing, a statement of teaching philosophy which would be part of the Arizona State University teaching assistant application. I’ve pooped out working on it tonight. I’ve just been dealing with this stuff for too long. I decided to do it in dribs and drabs rather than in a few marathon sessions, thinking that would be less stressful, which was probably the right choice, but it feels like I’ve been working on this stuff FOREVER. I’m just sick of it and want to go on vacation.
I’ve been worrying a lot about what to do if I get accepted. I’m motivated a lot by vague feelings and intuitions. That may not be good, because it’s not very rational. Or are these vague feelings emotions I’m not letting myself feel completely? Anyway, I am all confused because I feel I need a change. I feel stangnant here, and like nothing interesting is going on in my life. But on the other hand, I think that my lifestyle is very cushy and generally very good. I’m afraid of going to the US and having it be a big mistake, or after I graduate for some reason not being able to get back to the same good lifestyle I have here.
It’s scary to make a change. How do you guys out there make decisions, or deal with change?
(Lately I also think I am kind of inarticulate.)