Lately, with all of these worries about grad school, I’ve really regretted the loss of my therapist. It was really a big relief to have someone to just vent to, to get everything out of my system. That way, I could unburden myself fully, without having to annoy my friends. As it is now, because I can’t just lie down and get everything out in one fell swoop, I find myself brooding all the time, and complaining bit by bit to my friends whenever I’m with them. That’s got to be tedious for them. (When I’m saying all this, I’m ignoring the fact that doing this really DID annoy my therapist. Still, it’s better to annoy your therapist than to alienate your friends.)
This is embarrassing to talk about, but sometimes I find myself wishing for physical comfort. It would be great to have someone to get really close to. The problem is there is no one here I want to do that with. If I randomly got together with someone, that would be cheating that person and cheating myself.
October 20th, 2007 at 1:26 am
I kind of hate the fact that I have a “perfect” relationship with my therapist. I can talk shit to her, blah blah blah blah at her, cry and pour my heart out to her etc. I can’t do this to my friends. It would be a burden on them. On the other hand, I have to pay cash money for a ‘relationship’.
Every once in a while I think that I’m going to shriek like a fuckin’ teapot if some one doesn’t hug me, pet me and love me. On the other hand, I’ve been divorced twice. I’ve made a first class fool out of myself in the name of “luv”. I took enormous comfort from petting my cat, but she died. There are horses where I live. It helps to take a walk along the fence and scratch their ears and pat their noses. I look forward to the day when I’ll have time for a dog.
This all sounds kind of pathetic, but I really do have a good life, friends and a place in the world. I still have complaints similar to yours.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Has she helped you? That’s probably the important thing to consider. I did have one really helpful therapist, and I think she made a big difference with my self-image problems. It’s too bad that it’s hard to really connect with someone. On one hand it’s understandable, because people have such different outlooks on life, beliefs, experiences, etc. But on the other hand I would hope a therapist’s training would let her relate to/understand/help a wider variety of people.
October 31st, 2007 at 11:43 am
I finally decided that the best treatment for everything that ails me, physical, mental and spiritual, is fresh air, mild exercise, good rest, people, service and a childishly naive belief in a “higher power” or God. Oh, and music, plenty of music. My therapist more or less agrees and helps to make sure that I am sticking to that plan. I’ve found that different therapists work for different people. I tried one or two who struck me as being much crazier than me, a couple who were too involved in some therapeutic modality and a couple who seemed sort of dumb. My current one seems to be kind hearted, generous, practical and she shares many of my prejudices. Mostly, she encourages me not to worry too much about other people’s expectations and stay on my own path.