Ohhhh….
Where to begin?
I was talking to the Chinese-American guy when he called me a few days ago, and I found out he’d discussed my business ideas with this friend of his, and wanted to meet about them.¬† I was sort of aghast he had talked about my ideas without my consent, but went along anyway.¬†
Anyway … he wants to start some huge Chinese teaching business.¬† It’s not the same as my idea, really …
But we were talking, and I got the idea he may think I’m some sort of loser, or shut-in, or someone who is worth feeling sorry for.¬† I think he thinks I never go out and I don’t know anybody.¬† That’s not really true, though.¬† I don’t have a lot of close friends in Shanghai, but I have to admit, that is somewhat by choice … I get irritated lately when I interact with people too much.
You know, I also hate and resent people who are optimistic and think they can do all this stuff.¬† I’m a very defeatist kind of person.¬† It’s the way I was raised.¬† I’ve tried to get away from it, but it’s hard.¬† Maybe I feel like if everything were possible, everything around me would just be a big swirling chaos.
This is hard to describe, but I’m a bit overwrought about it right now.