One down, one to go.
I’ve been going through a quandry lately regarding my therapist. She always wanted to see me only every other week, although every other therapist I’d ever had thought once a week was good, but twice was better. I really felt like every other week was not enough, as there were a bunch of things I wanted to change about myself and my thinking. I was interested in something more intensive. I finally broached the subject with her, and told her I thought we should meet every week. Afterward, we talked for some time about when we would meet again after the holiday. I showed up on the agreed-upon day, and the maid opened the door, telling me the therapist had gone shopping and wouldn’t be back for several hours. This was a huge pain in the butt for me, considering that I’d taken like an hour and a half to get there, and that she lives in an isolated expat community, so I either had to pay 40 RMB for a cab ride to the nearest subway station, or wait an hour and a half for the community’s next shuttle into town.
I’d been thinking that maybe the woman wasn’t too serious about seeing me as a patient. I thought that maybe she was just seeing me occasionally for some extra money. I wasn’t sure what to do, because I felt really frustrated with her, but I felt I really needed someone to talk to about the whole Mom visiting/going home situation. In the end, though, I decided to write the therapist an e-mail and tell her I wanted to suspend our therapy for a while. If I don’t feel, deep down, that she has a committment to me, what’s the sense in going?
So that’s one worry dealt with, and one to go.