I’m so irritated by that Blodgett guy who’s been assigned to write a series about China for State. In every column he talks about how he doesn’t know anything about China, and he’s right — he doesn’t. So why is he writing the series? Why didn’t Slate pick someone who would know what he was talking about?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate living here. I feel like there’s not a lot of fun stuff to do here — just some high-class shopping for rich people. Well, there are good museums, but just see if you can get to one without being run over by a car. The horrible traffic has been the defining characteristic of Shanghai for me — I can’t go anywhere without crossing a terrifying street and narrowly avoiding death. I got bumped by a bicycle today, and I’ve had a couple near misses with city buses. Four people have gotten killed right outside of the school gate so far this year, with two being quashed by city buses which may well have run the red light. There’s not the fun and weirdness right outside the door that I associate with Shenzhen. I never see anything wacky and fun here — just a lot of traffic, and pissed off, unfriendly people hurrying to get somewhere. I guess it’s also not fun because I’m alone. I tried to make friends with the other teachers, but that was not very successful. I’m shy, too, so that makes everything related to meeting people more painful. Plus, the weather’s lousy. It’s rained nearly every day for two months. I’m even starting to miss the Shenzhen weather, which I always hated.
I’m not sure what to do. Even though I’ve been idealizing SZ, the problem is there aren’t many higher education work opportunities there. I don’t think I want to return to the US, but maybe I’d like to leave China? I wish I’d gotten to go to Taiwan this Spring Festival holiday. Maybe I’d like that more.
I laid down for a nap at noon and got up at 7:00! I’m such a creature of habit but I’ve got to break myself of this napping thing! Even using an alarm clock doesn’t work!
I feel like I’ve lost my enthusiasm for movies, and even worse (to me, anyway), I feel I know less and less about the areas of movies I used to feel I understood. I haven’t seen any of the new big Chinese releases (like 2046 or Kung Fu Hustle). I guess there might be different reasons for this. One might be the general malaise I’m going through. Another might be a lingering, post-grad school sense of futility. I also tend to give up on things when I’m overwhelmed at how much there is – there are so many films out there, and it seems like there’s no way to watch them all so you can really be up to date on what’s been released. I’ve been wondering if movies are just something I loved at one time, and now the feeling’s gone, kind of how I thought I’d always like punk rock, or always want big new wave style hair.
There was only one person in my class today! It turns out somebody told the other students that the class would start next week! I don’t know how that happens!
I was really upset when I read that Hunter S. Thompson killed himself. That’s strange — I’ve never read any of his books and I’ve never felt any sort of affinity for him. I guess it’s just good to have a weirdo like that around. I should really get a copy of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, at least. Here’s a quote from the obituary I just read on Yahoo:
“It was hard to say sometimes whether he was being provocative for its own sake or if he was just being drunk and stoned and irresponsible,” quipped Krassner, founder of the leftist publication The Realist and co-founder of the Youth International (YIPPIE) party.
(How come former hippies are always referred to as “quipping”? But that’s off the topic.)
After that story, at the bottom of the Yahoo news page was, “Army Having Difficulty Meeting Goals in Recruiting,” from the Washington Post. At least there’s some good news today!
The new semester starts tomorrow morning!
I’ve always been someone who likes to stay up at night and sleep in the daytime, but it’s definitely a bad habit, when you have normal working hours. Lately I’ve been getting up at like 3:00 p.m. I start teaching (my first classes are all at 8:00) in two days, so I’ve got to break myself of this habit. I think part of my problem now is that my bed is too hard, so it’s difficult for me to go to sleep. I’m going to try to buy some sort of soft mattress pad to fix this.
Wouldn’t it be awful if your name were Cialis?
Here it is, Friday night. It’s FREEZING outside, so decided to stay in and not do anything. But, it’s kind of like when I was living in New York. You know there’s a really big city out there, with lots of stuff to do. It’s almost like you have an obligation to do something interesting, or you’re “wasting” the city when you stay in. It makes me feel a little guilty and unhappy.
In other news, I’m going to start seeing a counselor soon. She’s Norwegian (I think), but received an MSW in the US. I’m hoping to be able to resolve, at least partially, the questions and anxieties I have about dealing with other people.
I went into the Konica Minolta customer service center today to get an English-language copy of the instruction manual, and I’ve found it’s full of incredibly bizarre warnings. It actually tells you not to drop your camera on someone’s head, or injury to the person, or damage to the camera, may result!
By the way, I made a “private” post. I’m not sure how it can be accessed by readers — I think like in Bart’s blog, people have to ask me for some sort of code. Maybe he can help me out on this?
I just got a newspaper cutout my mom sent me about the death of Dr. Larry Greene, my orthodontist. He was a really excellent man, a real gentleman. I knew him for about ten years (because of my formerly horrible teeth). He was one of the most consistently kind, polite and respectful people I ever met. I’ve wondered a little if knowing him had an affect on my racial attitudes — Dr. Greene was a black man, and no matter how much negative, racist propaganda I saw on TV or in the movies, maybe one reason I could never fall for it was that I had the example of Dr. Greene, a man I really respected.
I’ve got this plan that I think I should carry out, but I’m a little scared of doing it. My parents have never told me anything about their wedding. I’ve never seen any pictures of it or anything. I know next to nothing about their meeting, courtship, etc. I’ve tried to find out, but they’ve stonewalled me. I finally realized now that my aunt has written to me, I know her e-mail address, and can ask her about it. I know my parents would be upset that I went and asked her personal questions behind their backs, but I know I’m never going to get the information otherwise. It just feels weird not knowing anything, and never even seeing a wedding picture (even though they apparently exist). I think talking to my aunt, who, honestly, I barely know, is my only real stab at finding out the truth. It couldn’t be any worse than any of the scenarios I can imagine (vomiting at the altar, some kind of ruckus where someone tried to stop the ceremony, the wedding never really having happened). I think whatever I find out will make me feel like more “pieces of the puzzle” are in place.
I found out the reason it was taking me so long to post pictures to Flickr was that the files were huge! I’d assumed they were like 300 KB, but the Korean People’s Army one was over 8,000! I’ve gone back and used image software to change the size of the pictures. I’ll repost them, and see if they still look good.
Recently I realized that when I watch DVDs of Sex and the City, I start thinking like the characters talk — using a similar tone, similar word choice, etc. I’d always felt being influenced in that way was a sign of a weak mind, but then I realized that whereas I watched about two hours of episodes tonight, I only spoke English for about one minute all day. Basically, the only English I’ve been hearing has been coming out of the mouths of the characters on the show. That made me feel better. On the other hand, I do feel a bit odd to realize I’m going through whole days not speaking my native language.
So, here’s a question: For centuries, in Christian thought, life has been referred to as a veil of tears. When did all of that change? When abortion became legal? I suspect so.
Last night I bought a scanner at Carrefour. It was a Canon 3000ex. I was hoping it’d solve all my image sharing problems, but after I scanned like three things, I started getting these error messages, particularly one that said something like, “Error in scanner. Code 210. Refer to manual for details.” However, there was nothing in either the printed or online manuals about any sort of error code, let alone a code 210. I got so pissed off I took the machine back the next day and asked for a refund. They offered to have someone check it out for me, but I refused. I just wanted to get rid of it.
I’m feeling cranky. I think I have PMS. I shouldn’t make any big purchases until it passes, I think.
Shanghai’s year of the rooster was just ushered in with incredible firework chaos! Basically, everybody here gets their hands on the biggest fireworks possible, and sets them off wherever there is an open patch of ground. I watched all of this from the 18th floor of an apartment building, and saw fireworks, shot by ordinary people, going up over the top of a 25-story building. At times it was deafening, and we were unable to talk, although my friends and I were inside a building, with all the windows shut. People seem to have shot off firecrackers in the stairwell of my building too, because I found all the detritus lying around everyplace when I came home.
About half an hour ago, I heard BOOM, then, “Aaaagh!!!”
That was on a sweatshirt I saw today. The whole thing was like, “Some cunt got glassed. Nobody better move until we find out which cunt CGGC!”