You know how you get in a bad mood sometimes and don’t want to do any work? I’m in one of those now. I have four hours of teaching tomorrow, though, so I have to come up with something. Maybe I need to go out and wander around a little bit, and buy some candy (despite my sore foot). Maybe then I’ll be okay.
This whole frigging voting thing! My absentee ballot never came, so I downloaded a supposedly official form off the Internet and mailed it out. Well, last Monday the government issued a new official ballot! I sent in an inquiry to the FVAP, and they said I did, indeed, have to vote again. Apparently my 186 RMB vote is useless. I called the American Consulate to ask if I could vote there, and complained to the guy who answered the phone about all the voting problems. He didn’t know anything about them, but said, “Wow! That’s stooopid!” So, I ended up hobbling to the school gate with my new form (a student was supposed to come help me, but she was late, so I went myself), hailed a cab, and went to Fed Ex, which is, mercifully, sending ballots from Asian countries to the US for free. I had to hustle to make the four o’clock shipment, so my ballot would get there on November 1st. On the way back to the u., the cab driver talked my ear off about how he didn’t like Bush. The total cost of the round-trip cab ride was 50 RMB, which raises my overall voting cost to 276 RMB, or about $32 US.
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There’s something wrong with my upstairs neighbor. I kept waking up at 5:30 in the morning and not knowing why. I’ve figured out that it’s because of the weird noises my neighbor makes in the morning. I can’t even guess what he’s doing. The sound he makes is like someone blowing out a mouthfull of air while surfacing in a bathtub. Is he having sex, masturbating, having a nightmare, throwing up, doing some sort of weird exercise? I really have no idea. He’s started doing it earlier and earlier. This morning it started at 4:30. It’s getting to the point where I have to do something. I’m going to ask Jane (the dorm lady) who lives above me. I’m really curious who it is. I’m hoping it’s not the French guy, who seems cool. Maybe it’s the thin old guy with the hearing aid, and he doesn’t know how noisy he is. Maybe it’s the weird guy who never says hello to me. Who knows? Anyhow, I’ll have to find a tactful way of asking him to stop making weird noises in the morning.
Eh! I’m having a loneliness crisis. I want to go out, but my foot isn’t well enough for me to go far. At the same time I’m scared to approach anybody else to see what they’re doing. It’s not a fear of rejection; in fact, it’s the opposite. For example, I think if I approached the French guy here, he would be friends with me. But what’s so scary about that? I have this weird claustrophobia thing around people. I should be rational about it, though.
On a weird note, I’m getting lots of spam for Viagra and weight loss pills sent to the comments section of this blog. Who would send spam to a blog? Isn’t that kind of dumb?
I’m back on line after technical problems, so this post will be a wrap up of several days’ events.
The title of this post comes from a segment of a dream I had in which I was was confronted by the actor Simon Baker, of The Guardian, who abruptly asked me, “Have you been sleeping with my wife?” I was astonished, and then he burst into tears. Very odd. Odder still is the fact that I may well have met him in real life when I was in New York, but I don’t remember him at all. He was in the film Restaurant, starring Adrien Brody (who I’m sure I never even saw), on which I was a production assistant. I was surprised to see his name when I looked up the movie on the IMDB, to see if it ever got a release. Actually, we were usually painting the sets and stuff in the night when the actors were working during the day, and vice versa, so maybe we never crossed paths. I do remember two male actors, though, one of whom had dirty blondy hair, and the other one who the grips derided because he had been on the sitcom Blossom. (”Ooh, look! It’s Blossom’s brother,” they would say.) Also, Elyse Neal and Lauren Hill were in the movie. I didn’t know who they were at the time. One of them called me a bitch, but I couldn’t tell you which one.
In more recent, bad news, John Weber told me my gray cat, Kitty None, now called Pete, ran away during a visit to the vet. 
That’s sad. Luckily he’s really smart and can take care of himself. I wish he’s be found though. It’s not that safe for a cat to live in the wild. I wonder if he had a collar on?
I got my phone bill today and it was only 74 RMB! I was scared to death it would be a lot more.
I did end up going to the supermarket today. I went with Rebecca, who lives next door to me. I complained to her about the foreign guy who didn’t help me when I fell down, and she told me about this American woman she knew who fell down a hole in Vietnam, and ended up with 30 people staring at her, and not doing anything.
I did some laundry today and hung it outside by myself. It seems really strange to be able to see the bathroom and the kitchen from a standing perspective again. It made me feel really tall.
I’m walking a bit better now, although I can’t really put all my weight on my left leg. When I talk about this, it makes me remember those “inspirational” stories I always read in the discarded textbooks my aunt used to give me, about kids who were hurt in accidents, learned to walk again, and became Olympic athletes.
Why is it when I have nothing in particular to do, I just have this urge to write in here? Of course, I never have anything in particular to say at the time. Maybe I’ll post again later after I do something. I’m hoping to go to the supermarket, or maybe just the quickie-mart today, because I’m almost out of food.
I’m also worried about what my phone bill will be, because I go online so much. Still, I’m not spending money for anything else, so I’ll just have to be philosophical about it.
I was in kind of a bad mood after class today. I’m not sure why. I have a cold, though, so I think that’s part of it. I also went out yesterday with two of my students for an airing (which makes me sound like a Victorian invalid), which made me really tired, although I was sitting the whole time. One of my students who’s a Chinese medicine practicioner came over tonight an massaged my leg, which sounds a little weird I guess, but her boyfriend came too. That made it less awkward.
My cast finally came off yesterday! I can’t walk yet, though. My foot’s really weak and painful. It still seems a little misshapen.
My leg really looked horrible underneath. It was all covered with dead skin and hair. It made me wonder about the Middle Ages, when people bathed like once a year. What did they look like under their clothes then? It’s too gross to contemplate. I had a brief chat with the taxi driver about my leg hair on the way back to the university, and he bragged that his arm hair was “hen li hai” (something like really great or formidible).
I just mailed my Emergency Federal Write-In Ballot yesterday. I had to send it express mail, which cost me 186 RMB. Adding to that the 40 RMB I spent to send my ballot application by priority mail (not knowing it was useless for it to get there early, because Indiana won’t send out any ballots until almost October anyway), the total cost for my voting was 226 RMB, or U.S. $27.30.
Here’s what I could have bought with that money. This list is individual, not cumulative (i.e., I could have bought this or that).
75 fried noodle and tea dinners at a restaurant near my old Shenzhen U. apartment
36 cafeteria lunches at ECNU
28 plates of jiaozi (dumplings) at another restaurant near my old apartment
113 cans of Coke or Pepsi
282 stamps for local mail
2,260 pieces of gum
1,130 bike tire inflates at the local pump
15 - 32 DVDs or CDs
1 very nice bicycle
1/2 month’s rent on my SZU apartment
About 10 boxes of copy paper (A4, 500 sheets)
About a month’s worth of groceries
I get a “Dick Growth” e-mail almost every day now. Actually, sometimes I get more than one. I used to get “Christy Creme” e-mails all the time, so much so that when I got an e-mail from Christy Paxson I almost deleted it because I didn’t look at the name closely enough.
One of the funny things about Chinese actors is that some of them look really cool in one kind of clothing, but like total dorks in another. For example, a guy called Wakin Cheng looks really good in historical costume, but is sort of strange and nondescript looking in modern clothes. Take Spotty Wang as another case in point. Wang Ban was the star of Return Is Like a Rainbow ÔºàÂ?íÈÄî¶ÇËô?Ôºâ, the military soap opera on which I made my Chinese TV debut. (I was a Hong Kong journalist in a press conference scene.) His name is a mystery to me — spotty, or stripey, as it could also be translated, seems like an awful name for somebody. My only guesses are that his parents weren’t well educated and meant to name him Áè? (meaning class, like in school) , also pronounced “ban,” but wrote the wrong character, or that he was an especially spotty baby (most Chinese babies have these things called “Mongolian spots” on their buts and backs). Anyhow, he looked really cool in military clothes in the show. However, he looks dorky in anything else. I recently saw him in Jia Meng Jing Meng, where he played a pompadoured ne’er do well with a laughable wordrobe. Pretty silly looking. Then I saw him in a historical costume drama, where he looked heavy, and, well, spotty.
Here’s the URL for a whole page of Spotty pictures, so you can get the full effect:
http://ent.gz163.cn/celebrity/group1/star1339.htm
Well, I just watched the third presidential debate. I think Bush did surprisingly well, especially when talking about gay marriage and abortion. I wonder if those were memorized replies? Kerry was a bit lackluster, looked tired, and didn’t include enough vivid personal stories (I mean, a story of a particular person who lost a job, a particular person who lost health care, etc.). I was hoping for a major screw-up on Bush’s part.
I watched it with my students, who laughed at Bush a lot.
Today I got a funny comment from Bart about my last post:
I’m sure you’re talking funny. After all, you always talked funny when you lived in the States.
(Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I’m only kidding.)
That made me think of this article I just read in Cineaste, where they were interviewing Guy Maddin. Some of you may know I wrote him a fan letter once, which he replied to, saying somethings a long the lines of he was a lonely man who lived in a basement and got excited even when he got a gas bill. Anyway, he was saying he brought someone to meet some of his friends, and the person was astonished that they all talked like characters from a 1930’s musical.
Anyway, when I read that article, and when I watched a bunch of Guy Maddin movies at Chris Dumas’s apt., I had this feeling of disappointment in myself, and futility. It seems like although I have a lot of ideas I think are pretty special, I haven’t done much with them. I know sometimes I’m too negative, thinking of this or that reason why something won’t work. Also, I’m sort of an idea person rather than an action person. Maybe that’s what I really need — to find an action person to be my partner in life. I’ve been questioning my relationships with people — like there was this one guy who liked me in Indiana — I think he was sort of an action guy, because he made zines and stuff, but I couldn’t be attracted to him. Actually, there was another person who fit that description too. Maybe I’m too negative in my relationships with people …. Lately I’ve also been worrying about how I don’t have a baby, and to have a baby I have to find someone to have one with, and raising one on my own would be hard … blah blah blah. I have all these “balled-up” thoughts, which is bad, because it’s something that happens to me when I’m depressed. I’ve got to watch out for that. Of course, being in this weird situation it’s easy to feel bad, and to think too much.
One good aspect of the day was that I asked my neighbor Sumiko to go out to the grocery store with me. I took the wheelchair, had it aired up at a local pump, and zipped over. I’m getting pretty good at maneovering it. I got all sorts of food, so I don’t have to worry about running out anytime soon.
I caught myself talking funny the other day. That really bugged me, because I hate people to take on weird accents when they go abroad — it seems like the mark of a weak character. I’m going to watch myself and make sure I don’t do it again.
I’ve been going through more crap trying to get my absentee ballot. I tried to download it from a Kerry-related site and a Democratic Party site, but I couldn’t access either one. Maybe they’re blocked because they include the word “democracy”? I had to resort to trying to download and print one from Republicans Abroad, which loaded up fine, but then my printer ran out of ink!
It’s weird when out of the blue you end up in some sort of position of responability, especially when you haven’t actually done anything to earn it. About a month ago I found out I was the city chairperson, or something like that, of the Democrats Abroad Shenzhen branch. I had no idea how that happened. Then I realized it was because I was the only member! That’s not very impressive, I guess, but my name is on the Democrats Abroad listserve, and now people are e-mailing me asking for help getting absentee ballots, federal write-in ballots, and stuff like that.
On the other hand, when I try really hard to get some sort of honor, I usually fail.
Thank God Almighty, I am free of ants!
OK, that’s pretty corny, but I had to say it. A man came and sprayed for bugs in my apartment today, which is great, because I hate finding them in my bed.
It’s funny that I actually went out today, but I feel I have little to say.
I taught one class today, and it went very well, if I do say so myself. The students were really active, and almost everyone got to say something in front of the class, as well as having the opportunity to do an exercise with a classmate.
Well, I’ve been having a lot of problems posting. First, I found out that Blogspot is blocked in China, and after I found a way to get around that, the Blogger pages wouldn’t load on my computer. I was really frustrated, what with being isolated and all. The Bart set this up for me. Thanks Bart!
Here’s a review of the stuff from the past couple of days:
In other news, tomorrow will be the first day in a month I’ll be able to see my left foot. I’m going to the hospital to get an x-ray, and the doctor will decide whether I can go without a cast or not. I’m hoping I’ll finally be able to walk around again. I’m also waiting for the reaction of the nurses when they see my hairy Caucasian leg. I’ve peeked at it under the cast, and the skin is dry and chalky, with hairs that are now almost a centimeter long hanging out.
Actually, I was wrong about that! I have to have my foot in the cast for two more weeks! Today I got so see the X-ray, and I was surprised to see such a big, scary-looking crack in my bone. I had thought it was minor.
Last night I also found out the presidential debates were live on CCTV-9. I’m chagrined (if that’s the right word) that I’ve missed it, but on the other hand, I think Bush’s responses would have annoyed me too much. Just reading the transcript was annoying and embarrassing. That man has no grasp of grammar, word definitions, or public speaking skills. He made Colin Powell plural (“Colin Powell have”), misused “vociferously,” and just said other things that were just plain illogical.
Lately I’m also worried I’m using all these words wrong (like Bush, I guess L ). For instance, I’m afraid I misused “chagrined” above, and that I’ve been misusing “piqued” for years. I always thought you could say, “My curiosity was piqued,” but according to the online dictionary I have here, “piqued” means angered. I miss my unabridged dictionary!
IN BED WITH THE ANTS (Oct. 6)
Uh! Here I am, still with the cast on my foot! The cafeteria lady told me Jane had gone home to rest. I don’t know why. Hopefully she’ll come back later today. I’m really sick of being stuck here not going anywhere. I’d love to do laundry and check my mailbox.
In other bad news, my ant problems have gotten worse, and now I keep finding these little brown ants in by bed! It’s horrible. Another thing I’ll do as soon as I can go out is buy ant-killing powder. Plus, I have some cockroaches in the kitchen (although they are normal, American-sized ones, not huge ones with audible footfalls, like in Shenzhen).
Have I been undergoing a run of bad luck? It’s hard to say. I’m resistant to thinking of it this way. I just keep trying to remember that I’m really very lucky in a lot of ways. But in May, I had the kidney problem that didn’t go away for like a month and a half, then I hurt my neck really badly, and then as soon as I got to Shanghai, I got my first broken bone. I guess I should think of it as coincidence. Maybe since three bad things have happened, that will be it for the near future.
Welcome to the first post! As usual, I’m torn between wanting total anonymity and to communicate with people! But I’m doing this anyway.
I’m just sitting here in Shanghai with a broken foot. Those of you who know me have heard all about this — my lament about my cracked bone, and my indignation about the circumstances. I’ve complained about it in other places too, for instance, on an ESL site:
Some of you are familiar with the saga of my broken foot. I was walking along on my campus, carrying a big box, when I tripped over a curb and went sprawling over onto the sidewalk. Now, the first thing I see when I look up from the pavement is this white guy standing there like ten yards away, ignoring me. Or maybe he didn’t hear the loud thud and see the person laying on the sidewalk. I was caught between yelling at him for not helping me, and sneaking away in embarrassment about my clumsiness. As it was, I got home and limped home, on what turned out to be a foot with a fractured bone.
So my foot’s in a cast, and I’m alternating with using a wheelchair and crutches. I was invited to this dinner for national day, and b/c the trip back from the hospital, where I was getting checked, took so long, the taxi driver just drops me off at the hotel where the dinner is. I have to go partway on crutches, and THEN it turns out the dinner is on the third floor, and there’s no elevator. The thing is, that as I hobbled there, and stood helplessly at the foot of the stairs, these big beefy American guys (with big butts, I may add), just walked on past me, without looking at me, or offering any help whatsoever. What’s up with that? I’d think they’d assume I was another foreign student, if not a teacher, and at least make
some sort of comment, like, “Bummer about the foot. Want any help?” At Shenzhen U., the foreign students used to talk to me (granted, they were Korean and Russian, not American), and we used to exchange pleasantries even though we couldn’t understand each other very well. What’s with these American guys? Are they just d-ckheads? I wanted to really yell at them, like, “Hello? Could you f-ing help me?” I’m pretty mamby-pamby, and it’s rare for me to get so pissed off. In the end, a Korean student I never saw before carried me up the stairs on
his back, and then a Russian guy carried me down, and to my dorm! What’s wrong with these people? Are they just a$$es? It might be weird to help a random person in a public place, but I’m right inside the school. Are the foreign students in Shanghai generally jerks, or does ECNU have an unusual number? (And this whole thing is ironic, in that I remember a teacher here complained that ECNU foreign students were showing up on his campus to prosletyze to the students!) Or do foreign students think teachers are afflicted with scabies or some other transmittable malady, so they steer clear of us? Don’t they have any manners?One thing is for sure, though, that dude who ignored me when I fell down better look out. If I ever see him again I’ll really tell him something, and maybe swat him with my crutch.
So, I’ve had my foot in a cast for almost four weeks, and I haven’t been able to go out. My friend Curtis was supposed to come visit, but then he got some stomach thing and couldn’t come. That was a big disappointment. I’ve just been sitting here, going on line, working a little on my socialist screenplay, and stuff like that.
The only other thing worth mentioning is that last night I had an interesting dream. It turned out to be about some sort of cataclysm. In the end, after I woke up, it seemed that the events fell into some sort of Biblical pattern for doomsday. The first sign: I forgot, because it didn’t seem significant at the time. It wasn’t part of a pattern yet. The second sign: The air was full of birds, swallows, flying frantically from something. The third sign: The earth shifted and the walls of buildings buckled. The fourth sign: Lightning strikes. The fifth sign: Ice. The sixth sign: Illness. After that, we were all waiting, in a school lounge, some other teachers and I, to see what would happen. The woman next to me was writing something that involved the phrase, “John Alton, of the BBC.” Then the phone rang and woke me up before I could find out what happened next! It was like a phone call from the Man of Porlock! The dream was really scary, and I still feel creeped out after writing it down, like it’s unlucky or something. Then I remembered that I’d watched part of Angels in America before going to bed and maybe that’s were some of the themes came from. I hate it when my dreams are derivative!